Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Back in the News

Can you believe the nice people at Giant Foods actually called and asked me to talk again about their Home Shopping Service? This time is was for Fox 43.

I wish I had nail biting stories to share about how Junior continued his reign of terror or how there were child safety seat experts waiting to make sure that every child was properly belted when I picked up the groceries.

But I have not one fun story to share because the first thing I did when I arrived was check all three of my kiddos into the Treehouse. That was the end of that nonsense.

I don't think I did as well as the first interview but with some excellent editing the good people at Fox made me sound intelligible and the shopping service the best thing since sliced bread. He only asked me two questions and although I tried to elaborate in my answers I was saving some talking points for future questions. They never came. But I thought he put together a great piece and conveyed the most important facts.

Now as an aside...before kids I worked in public relations and have done my fair share of radio, print and TV interviews. So let me give you a few tips of things you should and should NOT do for when you are asked to speak on camera about your favorite grocery store and their most fabulous and life-changing home shopping service.

1. Never wear a white shirt. It will make you look washed out and like you are 15 years older than you are. Ask the PR lady if you can borrow her colorful jacket or ask a passing stranger if they'd go to the bathroom and switch shirts with you. I've done this before and strangers will give you the shirts off their backs if you just ask them. Right oH mY woRD?

2. Always lose those 20 extra pounds of baby weight before doing any TV interview because the camera will add 10 pounds. You definitely don't want them to do a full-length shot of you with 30 extra pounds hanging off your body and then have strangers and acquaintances stop you on the street saying how much they enjoyed seeing you on TV and, by the way, they didn't know you were pregnant.

3. Make the camera man pinky swear he will NOT do a close up of your face that will show how you are breaking out like a 13-year-old and reinforce the fact that 20 of those 30 pounds reside on your face.

4. Always wear your skinny jeans. I wore them for the first interview I did but sat for the entire interview. This time I didn't wear them and was almost blinded by the sight of my own white, untoned legs.

5. Always put your undisciplined and crazy 3-year-old in the shot with you so that none of the above will matter because everyone will be focused instead on your below average parenting skillz.

And those, my friends, are tips you can bank on. And tips I wished I had followed myself.


Tiffany said...

Natalie--I think you're beautiful...but this cracked me up. It's not often I laugh outloud in front of the computer. Humor is one of your great gifts and your posts are like medicine sometimes. In my opinion, your ability to make us laugh without trying far outweighs any of those stupid flaws you might see in yourself. Great post!!!

Anonymous said...

I'll add another tip to the list: Never use the word FANTABULOUS to describe anything. Your friends and family will never let you forget it.

Natalie said...

That's a great tip, Jeff. I had forgotten about the FANTABULOUS rule. Very important. Especially if you're a heterosexual male talking about your bathroom.

The Gang's All Here! said...

DYING laughing here.

Oh wait. Laughter abruptly stopping. Remembering that I HAVE NOT RECEIVED MY AGENT FEE! Not laughing anymore.