So, How was Your Day?

I stopped by Say Anything's house yesterday to drop off some important MIA papers. Her car wasn't in the driveway but I noticed her front door was open and lights were on. So I went ahead and stopped thinking maybe she was there.

Knocked on the door. No response. Knocked several more times. Nothing. Then, I tried opening the door. It was unlocked. I stuck my head in the door and yelled her name. Still no response. But lights were on, craft supplies and toys were everywhere, and music was playing; it seemed like she had literally dropped everything and just walked out the door.

I told the kids that they probably just ran to the grocery store or bank and would be right back. So we made ourselves comfy in their house and waited. And waited. And waited.

As time passed, I began thinking that maybe one of the kids had an accident and she just dropped everything and rushed them to the hospital. So I started looking for a blood trail or other signs of trauma. When no blood was found I began thinking that maybe her husband had been involved in some sort of freak science experiment accident involving a bunsen burner and anthrax at his school.

Just as I was starting to think about my third scenario--abduction by aliens--I see Say Anything and her little ones riding their bikes down the street. Oh, yeah, they had gone on a bike ride. That was going to be my next guess after 'robbed by a band of thieves' and 'delivering a neighbor's baby'.

As they were pulling in, an elderly man was walking by with his grandchild. He made some little quip like, "Do you want another one?" indicating he'd be happy to part with his sweet munchkin. Say Anything politely refuses saying she already has her hands full. Then, the man looks over at her front door and sees my two kids staring out.

Then he says, with exasperation, "Oh my gosh, you have two more inside!!!!!" At that her kids start freaking out that there are strange children in their house. She tries to assure the man that she really doesn't have more kids stashed in the house, that she was neglecting while on her joy ride, and then comes inside to find me.

We all laugh. She makes some jokes about "just make yourself at home" and I make jokes about "try keeping your doors locked." The kids go play. We talk and catch up. Then, she has to start getting her son ready for afternoon kindergarten. So while she makes lunch I try to repeatedly call my mom and see if she can watch my kids while I go get my hair cut at 2. Can't reach her so Say Anything offers to watch them. Deal.

In the course of talking, she mentioned that there is a huge basket of clean but unfolded laundry in her bedroom that's been there for days. And will probably stay there for days b/c it actually needs to go to the kids' rooms.

As she runs to the basement to start the kids on a painting project, I start feeling bad that I just let myself in, pawned my kids off on her for the afternoon and definitely destroyed any hope she had of completing some important chores. So, I march into her bedroom, pick up the basket of unfolded clothes, go back to the kitchen table and start folding. I definitely felt the need to earn my keep.

When she came back I think she was secretly appalled and relieved that I'm folding clothes. Appalled, well for obvious reasons, and relieved that now it will be done. In case you're wondering, and I know you are, I saw no tie-dye bras. However, we did find one pair of boys' underwear that she claims is not theirs. Hmmm...always drama around the underwear.

Now I need to feed my kids lunch before I leave for my hair appt. However, Say Anything has no food. Not a goldfish, animal cracker, nothing. Just tuna salad which Brown Sugar won't touch for the life of her (that's my girl!). For the record, 7 visits out of 10, Say Anything never has any food. So now I leave to get them food and I make a mental note to buy her a Giant gift card.

Some history here--whenever I 'drop in' I put Say Anything into a tizzy because she's afraid her house doesn't meet my standards. So, if she knows I'm coming over she polishes and shines and organizes so I will give her my Mom In Action seal of approval. What she doesn't seem to understand is that there isn't a Mom In Action seal of approval because clutter in other people's homes never has bothered me. It's clutter in my own home that bothers me.

So when I return with lunch, Say Anything has whipped the house into shape, put on her Williams-Sonoma apron and is now preparing two huge birds for roasting. She's a picture of domestic beauty, and if I didn't know better, I would've thought I just stepped onto the Martha Stewart set.

I feed my kids, put the baby down for a nap and leave for my hair appointment. With hair newly coiffed, I return, get the kids and go home just in time to get Sparkle off the bus.

As I catch my breath, I realize that my house is a bit of a mess which is a problem because I'm having a few ladies over for tea that night. So, I turn into RoboMommy barking orders while trying to get dinner on the table early. Then I realize an army of ants has made themselves a home in the kitchen. So now I must take care of ants, vacuum the floor, make tea, put out some treats, clean up the kitchen from dinner, change clothes and shoo the crying kids upstairs.

In the course of all that, no fewer than 12 blood-curling emergencies take place that require a Dora bandaid, drinks of water, assurances that no limbs will be lost, and a freak out (on my part).

The first mom arrives 15 minutes early, so I greet her with sweat running down my face and in my grungy clothes. Hadn't had time to change yet. So, I show her in, run upstairs to change clothes, listen to more kids whine and then go back down to welcome my next guest.

The tea goes great. After my last guest leaves, I go upstairs to my desk to try and unwind and make sense of the huge stack of papers I threw on my desk.

And there, on the top, are the two documents that I was supposed to have left at Say Anything's house. They were the whole reason we went over there in the first place. Somehow, they ended up back with me & my crazy life.

Start cleaning, Say Anything, I'm coming back over!

(You're right Say Anything, it is in how you tell the story!)

tag: fun, motherhood

So, How was Your Day?

http://momnaction.blogspot.com/2006/09/so-how-was-your-day.html