I ran across an article that I had saved from MomSense Magazine (Jan/Feb 2003) by Carol Kuykendall at MOPS International. She was answering the question, "What are some habits of highly effective mothers?" I think her response is worth repeating.
"Here are three (of many possible) habits for highly effective moms.
1. Circle the wagons. One of the hardest parts of mothering is a sense of isolation and fear that our up-and-down feelings aren't normal. Here's a good habit: Be intentional about finding and spending time with friends who give you safe places to be real. Supportive friends help you normalize your feelings, and bring the highs and lows of mothering to a happy medium. Friends remind you to laugh at yourself and regain perspective. Don't do mothering alone. Circle the wagons.
2. Learn to let go. We all come to mothering with a certain set of expectations of how life should be and how we should be as mothers. But life doesn't always turn out the way we expect, especially when it comes to mothering. As you loosen your grip on how things ought to be, your open hand allows you to receive the reality of how they are. Maybe you expected your little girl to wear pink little-girly clothes, but she detests dresses and all things frilly. When we let go of how we think things ought to be, we're more able to accept how they are.
3. Make a museum of memories. A mom usually is the one who is always facing the challenge of choosing what matters most--finishing the task that brings a sense of accomplishment or getting down on the floor to play with the kids. Years ago, I picked up a phrase that helps me with that choice: 'Make the most of life's irretrievable moments.' The moments that won't come around again are the ones that usually make the memories."
tag: Motherhood
Thursday, July 06, 2006
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1 comment:
One of the nice things about reading blogs is that it is a way to 'circle the wagons.' I'm past the baby/toddler/adolescent stage (mine are 16,19,21 and 24) but boy, I remember those days. Just reading other mom's blogs brings back memories...and really makes me see the things that were my 'life' back in the day were shared experiences! I wish there had been blogs when I was younger. Maybe then some of my kids' eccentricities would have looked perfectly normal, LOL!
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