Thursday, October 11, 2007

A Three Dollar Bill & Me

A week ago this seemed like a much more exciting story. Today...not so much. But what the hay, you can't have a thrilling bomb in the Pampers box story every day.

Last Tuesday night I was at the school setting up for the book fair. We had a great group of volunteers and the job was completed much sooner than I had anticipated. I ended up jumping in my car and leaving the parking lot around 10:35.

At around 10:40, I come to a complete stop on 83, just past the Harrisburg mall. After sitting for about 10 minutes, word trickles back that there is an accident involving two tractor trailers and two cars. The accident is just before the next exit so no one is able to get off the highway. We're all stuck.

So I call Jim. Plan my book fair to-do lists for the next day. Complete some book fair paperwork. Clean out my car. Start a book. Listen to the news. Get a call from Jim. Look over my to-do lists; make changes. Look for the school's phone number. Call the school's development director and leave a wacky message on her voice mail. Listen to the news again. Read another chapter in my book.

Then I decide I'm going to take a little walk and see if anyone has any information from the front lines. I come across a man and woman sitting outside their cars shooting the breeze. They give me the latest. We all give our two cents about teenage drivers drag racing on a major highway and then the man tells me how a woman behind him cussed him out when he tried to drive on the side of the road before he knew he couldn't get to the next exit.

And I quote,

"How am I suppose to know that you can't drive on the side of the road? I'm as queer as a three dollar bill."

To which the other woman and I don't disagree.

I then mention that I could use a porta-potty right about now and the man jumps up and starts looking through his car for napkins, "because I'm a server and you'd think I'd have about a zillion of them in here."

But he doesn't. Instead he says he has a blanket and offers to hold it for me if I need some privacy on the side of the road. He shows me where he relieved himself earlier and then cautioned that I shouldn't go too far off the side because it's a cliff and I'll fall on the train tracks below. I decline his very generous offer saying that I haven't reached the pee pee danger zone yet and will keep him in mind if I change my mind.

I bid farewell to my new friends and head back to my car where I listen to some really bad talk radio and to the beat of the guy's music next to me.

TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER the accident was cleared and I was in bed just after 1:00 AM.

So much for my early evening.


On Fire For Jesus said...

You certainly DID have an eventful week, now didn't you!!!

The Gang's All Here! said...

You have the most interesting life :) And I'm shocked that Jim and the development director were the only people you called. You could have had some serious fun with prank calls!