Thursday, September 20, 2007

Are You Drowning?

by Guest Blogger, Stephanie S.
Part 2

Like I was name is Stephanie and sometimes I judge other women.

I've been able to keep it in check over the years and quickly get rid of it but I still fight with the fact that my first response to many situations tends to be judgmental. So it would make sense that my deepest wounds have come from being judged.

Since this is quite an issue for me, I asked God to help me get to the root of this judgment problem. He gave me two root causes: insecurity and pride. He also showed me that I'm quite capable of both simultaneously.

Let's start with insecurity. I definitely tend to judge when I am insecure about something in my life. For example, our family is not attending any church right now. Many of you may know that we believe God has pulled us out of church for a season. I generally have great peace about this but there are times of weakness when I become very insecure.

I feel like Peter when he stepped out of the boat onto the water. It was like we saw Jesus, stepped out of our perfectly comfortable church to chase after Him, and then while standing in the middle of the water began to think "what are we doing? This is crazy!" Then I sink. I begin to do what many drowning people do and that is to thrash around and desperately attempt to grab anything or anyone.

When I trained as a lifeguard, we were taught never to approach a drowning person. Instead you are to throw a floatation device or extend a pole. You do this because the drowning person is in a state where they are only concerned with themselves and will end up taking the rescuer down with them. OUCH!

When I start to drown in my insecurity I do become very self minded and thrash with all kinds of judgment on any subject and about anyone (generally women) in an attempt to get me back above the water. When I feel myself becoming judgmental I have to take an inventory of my life and discover where I feel so insecure. Is it the way I look? Did I stumble over my words in my last conversation? Am I just in an uncomfortable situation? Once I figure out the source I can hand it over to God to have Him remind me of what He thinks.

Read part 1 here.

1 comment:

CampHillGirl said...

Good insight.