Yesterday we left for vacation. As we were packing up our last minute items before we headed out, I couldn't find my bra. No where. It just vanished into thin air. With all my other bras packed and already in the car and the husband not offering to pull the luggage back out, I decided that I was just going to go bra less...while wearing a white shirt. "Don't worry about it," said Jim, "you can just buy another one at a Wal-Mart somewhere."
Okay, ladies, there are so many things wrong with that sentence that I don't even know where to begin.
For starters, buying a bra is not like buying a 6-pack of Hanes tighty whities. It is a grueling, agonizing process that is right up there with swimsuit shopping and a root canal. Can I get an 'amen'.
So around noon we pull into Harrisonburg, VA for lunch. I drop the family off at a fast food joint and then head around the corner to Wal-Mart. Now I figure if there is anywhere I have to go without a bra, Wal-Mart is my best bet. I could probably make a pretty safe wager that I wasn't the only person walking around without a bra on Saturday. However, this was my first time and I was feeling just a wee bit self-conscious in my white shirt.
I grabbed my big, black purse and threw it over my shoulder and then brought it back across my chest to hide the evidence. Plus, I figure it might deter the Wal-Mart band of thieves from grabbing a tampon or juicy fruit wrapper from my purse as they make their rounds.
I find the underwear section and quickly pull out three bras that look similar to the missing one. I try them on and decide to go with number 3...a beautiful white satin number with underwire and a convertible back at the everyday low price of $9.99. At this point I start running some different scenarios in my head as to how I could pay for the bra while actually wearing it out of the store. With all my scenarios ending with me making a phone call to Jim from the inside of a paddy wagon, I decide to exit the store still bra less.
As I walk out I'm greeted by a team of young adults from a local church who are giving away free bottles of water. Two of them chase me down and shove a bottle of water at me. Now I'm certainly grateful for their kind gesture, however, taking their bottle of water means I have to (a) face them and (b) rearrange my purse and/or bag to take the water and thus expose my bra less state. I go with option (c) refuse the water and run away like a lunatic who is trying not to reveal she is more suited for a wet tee shirt contest then drinking water.
Safe in the van, I head back over to the family. I debate changing into the bra in the van in the parking lot but opt for the restaurant bathroom.
And that's what happened during the first three hours of my trip yesterday. Only another 9 hours to go!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
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4 comments:
I can only imagine the comments/questions from my inquisitive/observant sons...Mommy you look different...why are you pointy there?...Mine don't do that, why?
Egads.
Oh my word!
I never thought I could laugh at a story having anything to do with Wal-mart after our tragedy, but I'mm still laughing!
It's a good thing those teens didn't launch the water bottle at you or you would have earned yourself a PG-13 rating!
Too funny! That's hilarious.. sounds like something that would happen to me.. of course, I don't think I could get away with it.. I would also feel so self concious.. Men will never understand.. :)
Ah yes you got to love Wal-Mart! I hate buying bras in normal situations, and your situation.......hilarious, especially with the church group pursuing the bra less women through the parking lot.....if they only knew!
Thanks for a good laugh!
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