I recently came across a review for a new book called Mommy Come Lately. Now, my first thought was that this was a book about women who have babies in their 40s---you know, "older" women because the review said, "Mommy Come Lately is full of wonderful help for mothers who are having children later in life." And, because it's not uncommon to hear of women in their 40s and 50s having children.
And then I read the fine print.
"More and more women are embracing motherhood in their mid-thirties and forties. Most Mommies-come-lately agree: A late start at motherhood—or for some women, a restart—enhances your ability to succeed as a mom.”
Hmmmm, does being an older mom "enhance my ability to succeed as a mom. I'll never know the full answer to that question but I do think there is much truth in that statement for me.
Yes, having children after age 35 can mean some added medical risks and I'm certainly lacking the stamina and energy of my 20-something days, but I do think having a baby later in life can have its advantages.
Here are a few that come to mind:
- Gave us time to sow our wild oats before we became parents. And by wild oats I mean lots of travel, spontaneous trips to get ice cream at 10pm, career I loved, the fun and financial freedom of being DINKS.
- Allowed us to get our financial feet on solid ground.
- At 37, I'm quite comfortable in my skin (even if it is saggy) and with my identity. I'm not trying to find myself while trying to impress and appease others with my parenting skills.
- Maybe there will be an AARP discount to help pay for college.
- Because of #3, I don't get bent out of shape about designer baby clothes or mommy and me classes or whether my kid will be in the advanced genius swimming class. All the activities at the senior center meet our family's needs just fine.
The bottom line is that by waiting to have children I have a little more life experience to draw upon and I think that has brought a perspective to motherhood that has served myself and my kids well. It was definitely a good decision for me and, in turn, I know I can use it to positively shape and mold my children.
Are you a mother-come-lately? Did waiting enhance your ability to succeed as a mom?
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1 comment:
Obviously I'm not a Mommy Come Lately as I had Scarlett when I was 20 and Bubba when I was 29; however, the thought of having a baby later in my thirties is a thought of mine these days. I think the Mommy Come Lately affords more "baby years" different from a few years ago when women really only thought they had their twenties to produce little people. Not-So-Classic says that we're done, but he has agreed to open up the conversation in five years. If so, then I may be able to join the group.
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