Friday, October 31, 2008

Man vs Squirrel


Maybe I should say woman vs squirrel. I really dislike squirrels all together. Those pesky, fluffy rats dig in my flower beds and make nests in my shed. We have had run-ins with squirrels in the past but Wednesday takes the cake.

 I was preparing for my oldest sons birthday and realized I needed to run out some plastic and glass containers to the recyclable bin. My recyclable bin is right outside my kitchen door and I typically just toss the stuff in. I opened up the door and stepped outside so I could get a little closer since I had glass to dispose of. After tossing the jars in the bin I heard this awful commotion from inside the recyclable container. It began shaking back and forth. That never happened before and with in a few short seconds a fluffy gray ball popped out of the bin and landed on the ground. I jumped back in all the excitement. To my amazement I realized it was a squirrel. A dead squirrel I thought. It wasn't moving and just laid there on the ground. 

I stamped my foot on the cement to see if it would get up but nothing happened. Now I have to tell my husband and kids I killed a stupid squirrel. After about 3 whole minutes past the blasted thing leaped to it's feet and just stared at me with it's evil beady eyes. Like I intentionally knocked him out. Then without warning it scurried up our wooden fence and headed to the backyard, stopping every so often to look back at me. It couldn't even run down the fence straight. It kept losing it's balance and slightly falling off. Honest!

Then yesterday as I was heading out for my haircut a squirrel jumped out from my Holly Tree in front of our house unto my feet. Plop! There it was. Well it scared the stuffing out of me and I jumped around like a crazy women screaming my head off (thankfully all my neighbors were at work). I thought the dumb squirrel was returning for revenge. Then it quickly scampered back up the tree. This is a sad but true story. So there you have it I hate squirrels.  As our nation turns it's focus onto our political future squirrels around the world are using this time to assemble and prepare to take over the earth. Beware!

3 comments:

Classic MaMa said...

Hilarious!! We have a Black Walnut Tree in our back yard so our squirrel are in abundance. We have a guinea pig named "Kibble" and I suppose Bubba thinks every rodent-like thing is a guinea pig. He likes to look out the window and see the "Kibbles".

Tiffany said...

I seriously think I might have a little pee in my underwear. This was great. Squirrels are rabid vicious little vermon. Picturing your confrontations with squirrels makes me laugh really hard.

Hands-Free Heart said...

Funny! Our teenage neighbor has made friends with a squirrel. The squirrel takes a tomato from our garden every day, eats half of it and leaves the rest on my neighbor's doorstep. He in turn leaves peanuts (in the shell) on his wide porch railing for the squirrel. The squirrel brings the tomato, then takes some peanuts and scampers off.