Sunday, September 21, 2008

I Am Not Broken

I shared a few days ago on my blog about all the anxiety I had been experiencing over the last few weeks with my son's transition to kindergarten.  The following day I saw this quote, and it really struck a chord with me:

Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person. --Dr. David M. Burns

I have always been a perfectionist and wanted to be in control of every situation, but I didn't realize that the primary motivation for this was fear—fear of looking stupid, fear of not being good enough.

What I am seeing more clearly now is how that fear, once I allow it in, expands into every area of my life and affects my perception of everything that happens around me.  So I found myself struggling not only with the school situation, but also with work responsibilities, household chores and even family time.  Some good friends gave me a listening ear, and I did connect with someone at the school who is helping to get things going in the right direction, but I knew I could end up right back in the same place when the next crisis arose.

And that's where God stepped in, going beyond my present circumstances to heal the little girl inside who was broken and bruised by her loneliness and despair.  He took her sadness into Himself and brought her out of the place where she was trapped in darkness; He restored her so that she no longer needed to hold onto all the pain but could be just a memory.  And when He had done this, He said to me, "You are not broken."

You can find Trish at Another Piece of the Puzzle and also at 5 Minutes for Special Needs.

1 comment:

After His Heart said...

Thanks for sharing your wonderful encounter with Truth. He brings us out of darkness into His marvelous light! Bravo to you for getting to this place!! 1 John 4:18 says "there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment and the one who fears is not perfected in love". Isn't it amazing, His love perfects you!!!